I got to make this quick. I was editing the next few chapters of Vigilance (which -as usual- were a mess) and I had this odd moment where I realized how hollow of a life I have.
Granted, I don’t think living a life of fighting crime and blowing stuff up is a life I want. (Or is it?…) But when you are reaching the thirty year old mark without a house, without a child, and the woman you are interested in cannot have another kid due to medical reasons it becomes quite an unsettling cloud looming over. Really, the life I have so far has been dull and it seemed like only yesteryear when I was attending a University to study political science.
How time flies.
I guess one of the reasons why I write is because a part of me hopes that the effort will amount to something worthy instead of “Grandpa always worked”. Seriously, the thought of being an old man with nothing to show in life is a terrible feeling.
I still want a house, I still want kids, my own kids, and I still want to be something more than a guy who knows only how to work. It is tiresome living a hollow life, but it is as the saying goes:
If you want change, you must first be sick and tired of being sick and tired.
The childless part is still tricky, but I got a viewing for a house set up. A nice little one near the local park. Prayers to God and fingers crossed that it works out well so I can get out of the apartment and start a new direction. Because frankly, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Until next time. Good night and God bless.